When I was 22 my boyfriend of 8 years abruptly broke up with me

When I was 22 my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me seemingly out of nowhere. 

Which deeply confused me. I had invested so much time & energy into meeting his every want & need, sculpting myself to be the “perfect” girlfriend for him.

As we transitioned out of this relationship, I was terrified, hurt, & nursing the part of me that felt like I’d failed. Alongside all of this, I was surprised to also feel tremendously relieved. 

Whilst this relationship was filled with so much love, connection, & trust, it hadn’t truly been serving either of us for years. I was codependent as fuck, almost entirely numb, & totally disconnected from who I truly was.

I can’t tell you how grateful I am that my high school sweetheart had the courage to not settle for me 

 

Because as challenging as it was to move through that breakup, the most painful part, without a doubt, was realising that I was unlikely to have ever chosen to end that relationship myself. 

When had I ever really chosen anything of significance for myself?

Until this point I had just been letting things happen to me in every aspect of my life. I was so numb & oriented towards people-pleasing, that I had no idea how to even know what I wanted for myself. 

I drew a line in the sand that year.

Over the last 8 years, I have made so many courageous choices for myself in the direction of my truth & desire. Building an almost unshakeable trust in the yearnings of my heart, soul, pussy & spirit, that have been my guiding star. 

I’ve guided hundreds of folx on this journey to reconnect with their authenticity & desire, which transforms the way they experience sex, relationships, career - literally all of it.

Here’s some wisdom for your own practice:
 

Stop looking for the answers in your head alone. 
Our bodies hold incredibly valuable information about our truth, but most of us are disconnected from this data. We’ve learnt to value the egoic mind above all else thanks to our heady culture, in ways that don’t support our highest alignment. Instead, build a relationship with your 4 pillars: head, heart, intuition, & genitals through intention & somatic practice (building awareness of the sensations in your body). Alllllll of these parts of us have valuable wisdom to offer! 

Expect your life to change as a result. 
Clients regularly share their fear that acknowledging & acting from their desires will wreak havoc in their life. Our cute brains like to go straight to worst-case scenario AND of course your life will change if you start using your desires as a compass. Which is both what we want & what we fear. It’s a trust leap into your own arms each time you choose to honour your desires. This gets easier & easier with practice. Permission to start with low stakes desires, as you build this self-trust. 

It’s fucking hard work to live out of alignment with your desires. 
Think of all the energy you expend getting in your own damn way all the damn time. Yes, it’s also hard work to uncover your authenticity & show up for it. Choose your hard. 

With fierce love and pleasure,

Michelle