I’ve been thinking about getting botox…

Over the last year, I’ve been thinking a lot about something I never expected to think about at all. 

Getting botox

This topic incites a sizeable conflict inside of me.

So I’ve played with being open to as many perspectives as possible, in the search of my personal truths. 

 I wanted to share with you, my loves, a few that have stuck.

Layla Martin invited me to consider -

Why do the different decisions women make about their bodies have to mean so much?

Is labeling women’s decisions to receive cosmetic procedures & surgeries as anti-feminist, more warring against women’s bodies? Is there freedom in stripping away all the politics & just celebrating the different decisions available to us?

The body is not an apology (an incredible book), invited me to consider - 

Who perpetuates & profits off of our body shame?

Did you know that in the US 85% of cosmetic surgeons are men, whilst 92% of procedures are performed on women?

Today, the global beauty industry is worth US$564,438,000.

This is how many millions of dollars depend upon the existence of our body insecurities. An amount so enormous, the global economy would crash if we all stopped spending. 

Lux ATL, invited me to consider - 

“You might say - well I felt better after I got the procedure? Of course, you did. There are many rewards to reap by conforming to beauty standards.”

Sonya Renee Taylor invited me to consider - 

That we cannot dismantle white supremacist delusions of beauty & still perpetuate them by buying into them. 

Either these standards are a delusion that blocks us from connecting with our most authentic & liberated selves, or we should all continue to work at replicating them on bodies that will never ever live up to the ideal. 

 “You cannot practice liberation through the tools of oppression”.

As Audre Lorde says, “the master's tools cannot dismantle the master's house”

I’ve made the decision not to get botox.

But I also suspect that I will be inquiring into this for myself a few more times in my life because of the pressures we're swimming in.  

I feel a fun kinda freedom framing botox as meaningless, or a form of self-care not dissimilar to say, getting my nails done.

But truthfully, I’ve been thinking about botox because I am afraid of getting older in a world that’s taught me that youthfulness & beauty are fundamental sources of my power & worth. 

Despite being conscious of this, I do believe I would feel a sense of relief if I was to smooth out the frown line forming between my eyebrows. 

But I do not believe I would feel liberated. 

At this juncture, I can’t turn away from the deep resonance I feel in my bones when I read “you cannot practice liberation through the tools of oppression”. I feel hope when I imagine where that compass will guide me.

I’d love to witness what this brought up for you if you feel inspired to reply. A core philosophy working with my clients is that I trust them to know what’s best & true for them. I extend this to you, too.